What Does the Maid of Honor Pay For? A Clear Breakdown of Wedding Costs

Oct, 27 2025

When you’re asked to be the maid of honor, it’s an honor - but it can also feel like a financial surprise. You’re expected to help plan the bridal shower, host the bachelorette party, give a speech, and be there for the bride every step of the way. But what exactly are you supposed to pay for? And how much should you realistically expect to spend?

There’s No Official Rulebook - But There Are Expectations

No one hands you a contract when you say yes to being maid of honor. That’s part of the problem. There’s no law, no tradition written in stone, that says you must cover every cost. But social pressure? That’s real. Many brides assume their maid of honor will foot the bill for the bachelorette party, and many bridesmaids feel guilty saying no.

In Australia, the average bachelorette party costs between $300 and $800 per person, depending on whether it’s a local night out or a weekend getaway. If the bride wants to go to Byron Bay or the Gold Coast, that number can jump to $1,500 or more - including flights, accommodation, and activities. If you’re on a tight budget, you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed.

The truth? You pay for what you agree to. Not what you’re expected to do.

What the Maid of Honor Typically Covers

Here’s what most brides expect - and what’s commonly expected of the maid of honor:

• Bachelorette party: This is the biggest expense. The maid of honor usually takes the lead on planning and often covers part or all of the costs. But that doesn’t mean you have to pay for everyone. Group fundraising (like a group PayPal or a small contribution from each guest) is common and accepted.
• Bridal shower: Sometimes the maid of honor helps plan and pay for this, but often it’s shared with other bridesmaids or family members. If you’re asked to host it alone, ask if others can chip in.
• Wedding gifts: You’re expected to give a gift, just like every other guest. The average gift in Australia is between $100 and $200. This isn’t extra - it’s part of being a guest.
• Attire: You pay for your own dress, shoes, undergarments, and accessories. The bride may suggest a color or style, but she shouldn’t dictate the brand or price point. If the dress costs $500 and you can’t afford it, say so. There are plenty of affordable options.
• Travel and accommodation: If the wedding is out of town, you cover your own flights, hotel, and transport. The bride isn’t responsible for your expenses - unless she specifically offers to help.
• Wedding day tasks: You might help with last-minute touch-ups, carry emergency kits, or manage the rings. These are time commitments, not cash ones.

What the Maid of Honor Does NOT Have to Pay For

It’s easy to feel like you’re supposed to cover everything. But here’s what you absolutely don’t need to pay for:

• The bride’s dress or hair/makeup: That’s on the bride or her family.
• Wedding venue or reception costs: Those are paid for by the couple or their parents.
• Flowers, decor, or music: These are part of the overall wedding budget, not the bridal party’s.
• Transportation for the bridal party: If the bride wants a limo or vintage car for photos, she pays for it - not you.
• Extra gifts for the bride: One thoughtful gift is enough. You don’t need to buy a spa day, a jewelry box, and a personalized photo album.

How to Handle It If the Costs Are Too High

Let’s say your best friend wants a three-day bachelorette trip to Tasmania. Flights, two nights in a cabin, a wine tour, and dinner for eight - that’s $1,200 per person. You’re on a salary, and you can’t swing it.

Here’s what to do:

1. Speak up early: Don’t wait until the last minute. Say something like, “I’d love to help plan something special, but I’m on a tight budget. Can we do a local option or split the costs?”
2. Suggest alternatives: Instead of a weekend getaway, propose a dinner and movie night, a picnic at the Royal Botanic Gardens, or a themed party at someone’s backyard.
3. Ask for help: “Can we ask the other bridesmaids to each cover $100 so we can do something nice without putting it all on one person?”
4. Be honest about your limits: “I want to be there for you, but I can’t spend more than $300 on this. Let’s make it meaningful, not expensive.”

Good friends understand. If your best friend gets upset because you won’t spend $1,500 on a party, that says more about her expectations than your loyalty.

What You Really Owe the Bride

It’s not money. It’s presence.

You owe her your time. Your listening ear when she cries over dress choices. Your help picking out veils. Your calm during the chaos of the morning. Your hug when she’s nervous walking down the aisle. Your speech that makes her laugh and cry - all in the same breath.

Those things cost nothing. But they’re priceless.

Weddings are expensive. But they shouldn’t break friendships. If you’re being asked to pay for things that aren’t yours to pay for, it’s okay to push back. A real friend won’t make you choose between your wallet and your heart.

Real-Life Example: What It Looked Like in Melbourne

Last year, a bride in Fitzroy asked her maid of honor to organize a bachelorette party. The bride said, “I want something fun but low-key - maybe cocktails and karaoke?” The maid of honor suggested a Saturday night at a local bar with a private room, $20 cocktails, and a playlist she made. Total cost: $45 per person. The bride loved it. Everyone had a blast. No one felt pressured.

Compare that to another wedding in the Dandenongs, where the maid of honor was expected to pay for a $2,000 weekend trip. She took out a personal loan. She felt guilty for months. The bride never thanked her for the sacrifice - only for the “perfect party.”

The difference? Communication and boundaries.

Final Rule: You’re Not a Bank

Being the maid of honor is about love, not ledger sheets. You’re there to support the bride - not to fund her dream wedding. If you’re being asked to pay for things that clearly belong to the couple or their families, it’s not your job to cover it.

Set your limits. Stick to them. And remember: the best gift you can give isn’t on a receipt. It’s your genuine, unburdened presence on the day she gets married.